Brian's gonna wish he never invited me to go camping

Audrey texted me and told me to download the Mad Decent app for my iPhone. It's a very simple app: you choose an icon, touch the screen, and the app plays the corresponding sound. For instance, the default is an air horn. You tap the screen and it makes a very loud air horn noise.

My favorite is a G.I. Joe-ish looking guy on a hoverboard. The sound he makes is nothing like you'd expect. Have a listen here.

Next weekend when we're camping in Sequoia National Park, Audrey and I plan to wake Brian up each day with a few choice sounds. Good morning, Brian!

Microsoft FAIL

I just saw two new Microsoft ads (ones which follow a trail of distasteful/failed ads featuring little kids taking pictures of stuff, people being fooled into thinking they were using a better OS, Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates acting entitled, etc.) via one of the many blogs in my RSS reader. In theory, these ads make sense: with the economy not doing so hot, you want to sell buyers the idea that cheaper is better. But that is exactly it: you're selling them a cheaper product. Of course the PCs are cheaper if the specs don't match up with the competing Macs. Sure, Lauren (who happens to be an actress...aren't these people supposed to be real folk who answered an ad?) got a cheap PC, but one that completely under-performs in all aspects compared to a comparable Mac, including half the battery life.

Also, isn't Microsoft a software company? Why do the requisites of Giampaolo's desired laptop all relate to hardware? The size of the keyboard, the amount of RAM, and battery life have nothing to do with software. Hmmmm. Also, if Giampaolo wanted something portable, wouldn't he want a 13" or smaller laptop and not a behemoth 16" one? Double hmmmm. Another also: why is HP the only PC brand mentioned and bought in these ads? Did HP subsidize these spots? TRIPLE hmmmm (but that's beside the point, so I digress).

I have trouble believing that Cripin, Porter + Bugosky are 100% behind the ads they created. I think that Microsoft's marketing team bullied them into creating ads that would push the "cheaper" messaging at the expense of any real substance. But to the agency's credit, I think these were shot at Fry's. I can spot those shrub-lined parking lots any day. I love you, Fry's Electronics.

The moral of the story? There are a few: 1) Don't trust ads with "real people" who have a long acting history, 2) You get what you pay for and 3) Shop at Fry's.


Link


Link

Emojis, when letters just won't cut it

There's an app that unlocks the hidden emojis on iPhones not sold in Japan. I love them because 1) they're adorable, 2) they're prettier than letters, and 3) PICTIONARY.

Below is tonight's conversation with Ross*.



*I love my buddy Ross because he humors during moments like these.

Early birthday!

I'm taking a break from the China Diaries to report a perfect early birthday. This morning Patrick woke me up with a breakfast in bed. Eggs, ham and tasty toast. He also crocheted a beanie (!!!!) for me (see below).

After breakfast I was taken to the California Academy of Sciences, which I have been talking about on a regular basis. It was a great mixture of old and new. The T-Rex skeleton, the African Hall, the pendulum and the PENGUINS were there. Penguins pretty much are the bestest things on earth. A few new additions to the Academy included a living roof, a shark and ray pool, a new planetarium and a rain forest. The rain forest is by far my favorite new addition, where birds and butterflies zoom around freely. The only thing that sucked REAL HARD was that my camera crapped out again and I lost all the pictures I took at the Academy. Fucking shit fuck to that, man.

We went to Park Chow for lunch since it was right there on 9th Ave. If I had to give it a Yelp rating, it would get three and a half stars. The spiced apple cider and calamari were good, but my Thai-style noodle entree was a soupy mess. Patrick thought his eggplant parmesan was "mediocre," and this from someone who LOVES his eggplants.

Afterwards we went to San Jose to join Micah and Kelsey for a romp at Christmas in the Park and dinner at Johnny Rockets. I love that my old co-workers are still there because I get hooked up! We ended the night with hot chocolate and some Rock Band.

Thanks for an awesome day, monkey!

(Since I lost all the pictures I took with the DSLR, all photos were taken with my phone.)

Saturday morning on the N. Everyone must have partied real hard the night before.


New beanie made with love


Astroman Patrick


Rain forest. It'll frizz your hair, 4realz


Anaconda. It dont want none unless you got buns, hon.


So-so Thai noodles and eggplant parm

The California Academy of Sciences

I read an article on SFGate.com about the opening of the new California Academy of Sciences today and I can't wait to visit it for myself. I'm really excited about the swamp, rain forest, and living rooftop exhibits. The sustainable design is wonderfully sci-fi, most notably the rooftop where there are living plants which acts as insulation against weather for the Academy.

The coolest thing of all, however, is the penguin exhibit. This exhibit has always been a favorite of mine. PENGUINS! The new Academy outdoes itself this time around with a live, streaming cam feed of the penguin habitat. That's right: STREAMING. How awesome is that?

Below are some photos I found on Flickr. I'm definitely bringing my camera.













Bonus photo:


On a side note: Lysol wipes are amazing! I used one sheet to wipe off my dirty keyboard, scanner, table, and even the garbage can before I threw it away. I've got a full canister waiting for me and I can't wait to use them.

David Foster Wallace

In the last day, three of my friends¹ alerted me to the suicide/death of David Foster Wallace. First it was shocking, then it made me extremely sad. I own two of his books and have only read one². Today I will start the other one.

RIP, DFW. You've been a good to me³.


This is the first image of DFW I ever saw, the one on the back cover of ASFTINDA.

__________________________________________________
1. I've shared DFW stories with Audrey, Tristan and Ross. Maybe we should all go see the John Krasinski's film together. 

2. I started my relationship with DFW some time back in college when I got an offer in the mail from QPB (Quality PaperBack) for 5 or 6 books at a dollar a piece. Even though I had never heard of DFW before, I thought A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again: Essays and Arguments was a charmingly long title so I bought it. Why not? It was only a dollar. I also order some art reference books that I've never attempted to read. Once I received ASFTINDA, it sat on my shelf for a loooooong time. I didn't quite have the ambition to tackle the lengthy book, most of which was set in tiny, tiny type via footnotes. 

After reading it, there hasn't been a televised tennis match where I don't think of DFW. Last year I bought Infite Jest when it was released at a reduced price of only $10 (!!). It hasn't been read yet, but I will make time for it.

3. DFW's stories have kept me company while waiting to be called for jury duty and rekindled my interest in David Lynch which led me to buy his films at inflated prices on eBay.

It's been a while

Work, and life in general, have kept me away from my blog, but I'm back.

Since my last entry, I've been (predictably) addicted to my iPhone. I've been downloading apps, uploading photos, and Twittering (which helps me stay up to date with friends like Ross and Nicole!).

To those who have to interact with me on a regular basis (e.g., Patrick), I apologize for ignoring you in favor of my iPhone. True, it can't give me the same companionship that friends and lovers can, but it has Bejeweled 2 and texting.

On that note, I'll take my leave. There is freelance work to do and it's a resolution of mine to tie up the loose ends on these projects. TTYL

One more thing. Patrick posted a YouTube video of Fatass.

iPhone happiness and rediscovering "California's Gold"

After that sad, sad Friday where I wasn't able to get an iPhone, I didn't give up. Uyen and Andrew were in town this past weekend from New York for a wedding. Unfortunately, on Sunday, Uyen drank a little too much the night before and spent the day getting to know my toilet. I wanted to give them a chance to sleep at my place, so I grabbed Patrick and made him go to the Apple store just to check out the line. It was the shortest I'd seen it (still about 50 poeople) so I had to jump right in. After about 45 minutes I was a proud owner of a black 16GB iPhone. It hasn't left my side since; I'm totally in love.

The iPhone has since taken the friendship between me and Tristan to a new level (we've texted each other on our phones!). Incidentally, one of those texts was about "California's Gold," a show I used to watch as a young man. It was hosted and produced by Huell Howser and often showed him on a train full of dining senior citizens or standing on a dry lake bed somewhere in the California desert. Thanks to Tristan, now I know that there are podcasts that I can download and watch!! There's a "spinoff" called "California's Gold Visiting" where Huell goes to different countries. I've downloaded the Russian one and will watch it soon. Check it out!

Day of iPhone sadness :(

I could barely sleep last night, imagining a new iPhone up against my ear. This morning, waking up to an alarm set an hour earlier than usual, I got up and was out the door by 7:15 so I could get in line about half an hour before the 8 am sale time. Approaching the AT&T store across the street from my office there was hope. The line seemed short, but the closer I got the longer it got. I didn't want to stand in that long of a line so I went up Market Street to the next closest one. The line was even longer and I think might have been two or three deep.

Since it was about an hour and a half before I usually show up to the office, I decided to go back to the Mission to see what the line was like at the AT&T store there. At this point desperation started setting in. I NEED AN iPHONE! When I saw the line, which extended the length of the long Mission block, the possibility of me being an iPhone owner died a horrible, bloody death. I haven't given up yet. I'll try again at lunch. Maybe I'll even try the Apple store, though I couldn't the lines being any shorter. But now there's a new dilemma. Black or white?

I've been making stuff

My sewing machine impulse buy hasn't been a complete waste of money. I've made a couple birthday gifts, a mother's day gift, and just random gifts in general. Oh, and I hemmed a pair of new jeans and saved myself $12. Take that, friendly neighborhood tailor!

Learning how to sew isn't as intimidating as I thought it would be, but I've mostly been using straight stitches without any fancy techniques. I'm sure there are ways to do what I'm doing in a fraction of the time if I'd only research the proper techniques...but who's got time to do research when there's so much fabric waiting to be sewn??!

Felt's been my material of choice. It's colorful, soft and comes in convenient squares (rectangles really, so why the hell are they called squares?). An Etsy store has even been create to give my craft a home.

My fascination with evolution/genetics has also been reignited recently, so I'm working that into the crafts/art pieces that I'm making when I can. Does a felt pea pod that spills pom pom peas scream "RECESSIVE GENES!!!" to anyone?


Just finished.


"A" is for Audrey.


A mountain of felt squares.


iPod Nano case for Ruth's birthday.


Bird wallet for Lucie, but she doesn't like red and wanted a green one.


Pea pod drawing on fabric swatch.


PEAS!


Part of a (tongue-in-cheek) mother's day surprise.


And the latest project, a muslin apron for Uyen to tie-dye, as modeled by Patrick.

"Proper" use of punctuation: a (brief) discussion...or is it!!!!??!?!

Lord of the Rings, a tearjerker

In the last couple weeks, I've been geeking out and watched all three movies in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Each of the three movies spans over two discs and is four hours long. It's totally worth the time. I kind of love these well done fantasy movies...and there are hot men in costumes. Funny thing is I don't think any of them are that attractive outside of these movies (i.e. sans LOTR garb).

I've watch the movies three times now, and every single time, there's a part that chokes me up. I know, shut up. I can't help it. At the end when Aragorn gets crowned as king of Gondor (and awkwardly sings in a Tolkien language), he walks up to the four hobbits and they bow to him. Aragorn, being the humble king that he is, says "My friends! You bow to no one." Then a wide shot of the entire courtyard and everyone is bowing to the hobbits. I mean, come on, that has to be the most touching scene in cinematic history...isn't it???

Judge for yourself:


(link here)

Also, fans take the story into their own hands. Oh my.


No, that's not Liv Tyler, that's Orlando Bloom.




What the hell?

Brian isn't that good at making words

Lately I've been semi-addicted to Scrabulous, a Scrabble application for Facebook. It's an intense scramble to make words like "riel" and "jins" and "coilers." Extra points if the tiles land on one of the designated colored squares. Even though there's a dictionary that the game compares the played words to, my opponents (read: losing opponents) still dispute their validity.

One of the said disputers is fellow Outdoorsy Adventure Clubber Brian. In a losing rage, Brian has made accusatory statements such as:

"what the hell? Bads and seemings are words? I call bullshit."

"alright, I let "riel" slide and "doer", but reify is just complete and total bullshit."

"Ay think y'all make up words"

"shit"

See the games in which these colorful words were spoken below.

(click for larger shot)

Christmas came early

My sister texted me a few days ago and wanted a Ninteno DS with Brain Age (which is kind of fun, if not a bit frustrating) for her birthday this year. Our birthdays are close enough to Christmas that we sometimes just give/get one gift. Since I blew a big chunk of cash on camera equipment very recently (see previous post), getting a game system would put another a big dent in my budget. But, what the hell, I'll try to get something good out of the deal. What should I ask for? There was only one logical answer to that question: Guitar Hero for the PS2 I inherited from my cousin.



I've played the game briefly and it's pretty addictive. Guitar Hero is probably my second favorite time-waster; number goes to the world wide web. There are no minors or majors, no callused finger tips, no broken strings, and absolutely no bar chords. It's a (non)guitarist's dream. You just press one (or two or three or four) of the five button on the plastic guitar controller as the notes fly by on screen. As Audrey noted while we were playing, I tend to heel-tap and chicken-neck to the beat of the songs I like, particularly Cheap Trick's "Surrender."

Who's going to let me throw a Guitar Hero party at their place??

Apple swag

I finally booked a time slot to see an Apple specialist (aka "Genius") about my laptop. For the last couple months, it would charge to 100%, only to completely shut off 15 minutes later without warning. This was strange considering that my battery only had about 115 cycles (a normal battery goes through 300-500 cycles before totally losing its charge). I also brought in my Airport Extreme, which I use with an external drive as server for my computers. It was having trouble showing the disk and pissing me off regularly.

It paid off to book a time because my wait was about 10 minutes, instead of the usual 30+ minutes. The guy was really understanding and after making sure that my battery was a dud, gave me a brand new one. Then I whipped out the Airport and without even testing it, he went and got me another. I was pretty shocked, but nonchalantly said "Oh, cool." I'm sure he saw through my facade, though. My jumping up and down while clapping my hands probably gave it away.


Brand new Airport Extreme and battery.

Halloween is near

A festive neighbor's door. I feel like I should dress up this year. But what?

Look Around You

Every so often I come across something worth watching on YouTube. That something is called "Look Around You." It's a BBC comedy clip (of about 10 minutes each) that parodies science shows from the 70's and 80's. The beginning is similar to something you'd remember from 3-2-1 Contact. The narrator is reminiscent of (Sir) David Attenborough. The show tackles such scientific topics as water, the brain, germs, and ghosts.

Here's a clip about sulfur (or sulphur, as it is spelled in the UK). The best part of this episode is how they go about disproving sulfur's magnetism. Time is well wasted with this one.

Body snatchin' fungi

I learned on the BBC series Planet Earth last night that there are fungi in the rain forest that lodge themselves inside of insects, making them go crazy. Infected ants, for example, are exiled by their colony. Poor bastards.

Also, chimps are fucking scary.

Audrey sucks at video tennis

She's making me play Virtua Tennis 2 on Sega Dreamcast on a Friday night. And we're losing to the computer. Argh!!!

In the courthouse

• 9:01 am: In the jury assembly room now. I've been here since 8:20 or so. I just finished up a David Foster Wallace essay about a carnival in the Midwest. About 5 or 6 names have been called from the roomful of people here. Also, I just paid $6.00 for a one-day pass to go online here.


• 10:36 am: So I was just in my first non-drill alarm. I was called into an actual courtroom for further selecting. The judge assigned to the case as briefing us on the background of the case when an alarm went off. No one was in a panic while leaving the building, probably because we've all been desensitized by all the drills. Everyone evacuated to the plaza across the street. It's gonna be real fun waiting in line to get back inside. One metal detector and a couple thousand people...hott!


• 12:01 pm: Lunch time. I was granted hardship from the first case because it might last until June. Gyro probably wouldn't like that too much. I'm back in the jury assembly room awaiting another case...hopefully a shorter one. Selection starts up again at 1:15pm.


• 12:29 pm: This dutch crunch roll that my sandwich was made on is the stalest thing I've ever bit down on.


• 1:07 pm: Lunch is almost over. I'm bored out of my mind.


• 1:59 pm: Chatted online for a bit, read for a bit more, now I'm actually starting to miss work. They called people for two court assignments, and I wasn't included in either one. The assembly room is almost empty now.


• 4:ish pm: Home and jury duty free. The most horrifically boring day of my life. Thanks, America.