Not so smooth move

If you ever decide to take an herbal tea laxative, make sure you drink lots of water afterwards and only drink one bag's worth of the tea at a time. It started when I was feeling a little bit blocked, if you know what I mean. After a couple days of being...um, blocked, I thought it was time to make good use of the Smooth Move laxative tea left over from my Master Cleanse days. Instead of steeping just one bag, I thought it would work twice as fast if I used two bags. There's an 8 to 12 hours wait, the box said.

Trouble started the next day when I couldn't stop visiting the throne. It's a good idea to keep your whole day free if you're going to take this tea. Nature will call often. As I sit here writing this blog (two days after the fact), Nature is still tugging at my sleeve...ever so slightly.

Cheap Polaroids, digitally

Polaroid photography is gratifying...instantly and long-term. There's a comforting quality to the vintagey color palette and the blurriness of the photo. And best of all, it's already framed. After seeing Audrey's newly posted Polaroids, I was sure that I could find a quick Photoshop filter online that would give me the results I wanted. To my surprise, there were plenty of tutorials on how to fake the white Polaroid border, but nothing that would actually change the image quality.

After a couple hours of tinkering with color balance, saturation, density, constrast, levels, etc., I came up with a decent Photoshop action that mimics a Polaroid. Here are the before and after files (special thanks to the guy I stole the original photo from on Flickr).



Original:


I'll post the Photoshop action soon for anyone who's intersted.

iPhone mania finds it way to San Francisco

During lunch, Stephanie takes time out to mimic/make fun of the people who have been waiting for their chance to grab a brand new iPhone. Poor guy under the blanket. He'll never know the ridicule he was subjected to while he was asleep.


Ross tries to use the iPhone's new multi-touch screen. I hear it's scratch resistant.

Camera phone review (March - June 2007)

Chicken feet at Super Buffet in the South Bay.


Lunch from Julie's...a meat (and tofu) extravaganza.


Things you find while helping Pooh move rooms.


Horrible ad campaign for an even worse operating system in the Bart station. Nice job, McCann.


I had no idea these guys were still around, though it was at a discount shoe store in San Jose.


My first monte cristo. The words "too much" would sufficiently describe this sandwich...or the concept of this sandwich.


Ross and I shared one of these bottles and I got wired.


Shoreline revisited to see Björk.


Steinhart Aquarium/Academy of Sciences from observation deck of the De Young. Oooh, I can't wait. It's gonna be good.


And finally...what the fuck. A cell phone mouse??

Text wars

I felt like a retaliatory blog was in order to prove just how hypocritical Blahdrey and her blogs are. She recently had to pay and extra $15 because her text-happy fingers couldn't keep themselves off the keypad. So what does she do? She blames me for sending too many trifling texts. So what if I happen to be indiscriminate when it comes to texting?

Jump to tonight. I check my phone and what do I get? A text from Text Nazi herself with two words: "White power!" Nice waste of ten cents. I hope Timmy Von Trimble drops into your rain gutter tonight! Also, stop drawing Hitler on my memo board! You and Ross should get your Fred Perry's and Doc Marten's ready for the "rally."

Here is her diabolical dry-erase drawing:



In an unrelated story, I was hoping this video would be a lot funnier, but it wasn't.

A Monday afternoon chat

Chatting with Sheila can be fun sometimes. See example below.

Best pop-up book ever

Amy Winehouse in the office

I make good use of the white board at work everyday.

Bottom of the Hill, or Happy Bday Audrey

It's been a few years since I've been to Bottom of the Hill for a show. I forgot how crowded the tiny venue can get. At certain points, it felt like I was in the steam room at the gym. But having said that, it was definitely worth it.

We went to the Matt and Kim show in celebration of Audrey's 28th. One of the opening bands was The Mall. The drummer made her a bday DVD which made her feel special or something. I asked her if she was a Mallrat, which she responded with a nervous chuckle. You can draw your own conclusions. The second The Mall started playing, a mosh pit pushed and shoved its way to life. Pooh and I stood there, feeling betrayed by our age. It made us feel old and just a little afraid. The surprised came when we spotted a drunked Brian moshing right along with the 17-year-olds.

When Matt and Kim came on, they were all about smiles and funny anecdotes. Kim drummed with a giant smile on her face the WHOLE TIME and Matt stopped in between songs to tell stories about motel ghosts and pizza shaped marshmallows. Three words describe them: Extra Super Fun! No, the exclamation mark is not a typo. I want them to play at my next house party.

The big pay off came after I was dropped off. I spotted a hot dog vendor (yes, at 1 in the morning) selling bacon-wrapped hot dogs on the corner of Mission and 23rd. This bad boy was topped with grilled onions, mayo, ketchup and mustard...in that order.

Today is already Saturday...in my head

It's grey and cold and half the office is out today. I'm ready for the weekend.

Also, ridiculously large tennis ball (the official ball of the US Open) and ridiculously small tennis ball (for your keys).